


The Weight of Water

by OnTheTurningAway



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: All Human, Angst, Kink, M/M, Romance, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-13
Updated: 2011-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-30 10:21:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheTurningAway/pseuds/OnTheTurningAway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"By the time he hurries down the hall to relieve himself, the flush has faded from his cheeks, but Edward carries the weight of his shame for much longer."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weight of Water

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this](http://twikinkfest.tumblr.com/post/12494242023/what-i-want-more-than-anything-in-the-world-ever-is) prompt at the Twilight Kink Fest. Many thanks to my beta [ArcadianMaggie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcadianMaggie/pseuds/ArcadianMaggie).
> 
> Disclaimer: No profit was made from the writing of this story. All creative rights to the characters and recognizable elements belong to their original creator(s) and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

\---

Edward is dreaming.  
  
Warm water rains down on him like the deluge of a summer storm. He flexes his hands, lets it cascade over his fingertips, splashes playfully in great puddles that have formed around his feet. He tips his head back and gulps mouthfuls down his throat as fat drops cling to his eyelashes. Hazy masculine figures, each as unabashedly naked as the last, flicker in and out of focus. Edward, too, is nude in this watery heaven. He reaches out and beckons to them to come closer, yearning to feel their touch. The men place fleeting, ethereal kisses on his lips and run their hands all over him, gently caressing every bit of warm, wet skin. Edward's body responds to their touch and, comforted, he complies when they lay him down.  
  
In an instant, everything changes. The water, once soothing as it cascaded down his body, now hits him from all sides in sharp, hot streams. Gentle kisses become nips and bites that leave bruises in their wake, and the men, no longer ethereal, gather around his prone form, soaking his skin. Edward squeezes his eyes and lips shut, and fights against the desperate urge to take this water in. The men lift him to his feet, stroke and grab at him, rut against him until his soggy skin is chafed. Edward is painfully aroused,  _wants_  this, and is ashamed. He feels the pressure building and struggles to break free from his depraved desires.  
  
His body twists and tangles in his sheets as a war rages in his subconscious, and when he awakens moments later, Edward is drenched in perspiration. A welcome whoosh of cool air washes over him when he flings the covers aside and takes a moment to catch his breath. His fingers slide easily over damp skin as he trails them down his torso. He stops when he reaches his navel, then flattens his palms. Edward's cock is  _so hard_ , the way it always is after having this dream, but he ignores it for now. The need to piss is almost overwhelming when he presses down on his bladder, but he can't. He  _won't_ .  
  
Tears prickle behind Edward's eyes and he struggles to maintain control over his body. It hurts, but he welcomes the pain; it is penance for the indecent thoughts that flood his dreams. He digs the heels of his palms into the soft flesh of his belly, focuses on pushing his physical limits, and lets his mind wander instead.  
  
He remembers the comfort of warm wetness soaking through his pajamas and the well-worn Superman sheets on his childhood bed. He'd tried to keep the moisture from cooling on his skin by snuggling down deep in his blankets, tucked safe and warm in his cocoon. Once, he'd woken up while he was still peeing and peeked down into his pajamas to watch as it ran down the sides of his tummy. His little fingers had playfully splashed in the tiny pool that formed in his belly button until it was all gone.  
  
Back then, Edward didn't understand why his mother tore the covers back each morning with a hopeful smile, or why she'd grimace, shoo him out of bed and into the bath, and hurriedly strip his bed. After the fifth incident, a slippery blue sheet replaced Superman, and stuck to his skin when he slept.  
  
When he'd told his mother he liked how it felt when he woke up in his soggy bed, she'd looked at him with wide eyes and told him he was silly.  _It's smelly and wet and dirty, Edward. Big boys don't wet their beds,_  she'd said. The next time he'd wet himself, waking up in a cold puddle on the rubber sheet, she'd told him it had to stop.  _What would your father think, Edward? He wouldn't be happy, I'll tell you that._ Y _ou don't want your friends to think you're a baby, do you?_ He didn't want that. Even at six years old, Edward craved his father's love, and didn't want to be singled out or teased, so he shook his head wildly in response.  _As long as you stop, it will be our little secret_ , she'd said.  
  
She kept her word, and except for a few "accidents", as his mother called them, Edward had too. Until the time she'd caught him when he was fourteen, and ended up screaming  _I don't know what's wrong with you, Edward!_  before she'd burst into tears. She apologized for yelling later, explaining that she didn't understand, but Edward, red-faced and mortified, said nothing. He didn't think she'd want to hear that he hadn't been able to help himself once he'd gotten the idea of trying to come and piss at the same time into his head. He wasn't able to, of course, but just the  _idea_  of it had gotten him off, and he'd been so relaxed after coming, and had to go  _so badly,_  that he had given in and soaked himself thoroughly.  
  
He hadn't done it again – not even after his mother's death, or when he'd moved away for college - and most of the time Edward feels like he's conquered his demon. Normal boys dream about pretty girls or hot guys, about fucking and blow jobs, and then jerk off when they wake up. Edward thinks about those things too, and he thinks if he keeps at it, maybe someday he'll be fixed.  
  
Deep down, he knows normal guys don't wake up sweating and fighting against the urge to piss all over themselves, or dream about the even more disgusting things he sometimes does. Edward clenches his hands into fists, digs his knuckles in until it is unbearable, then pulls them off of his belly completely. He grabs his cock, tugs on it roughly, and comes with a choked sob.  
  
By the time he hurries down the hall to relieve himself, the flush has faded from his cheeks, but Edward carries the weight of his shame for much longer.  
  
-o-  
  
Edward's world gets turned upside down at the beginning of his senior year. He's just come in from grabbing coffee when he sees a tall, slim boy wobbling down the hall with two boxes in his arms and a huge duffel slung over his shoulder.  
  
"Hey. Can I help you with that?" Edward asks.  
  
The boy dumps his stuff in a heap on the floor. "Nah. This is the last of it, but thanks."  
  
"I'm Edward Masen, the R.A. on this floor," Edward says, extending his hand.  
  
"Seth Clearwater. Nice to meet you, Edward."  
  
Seth's hand, warm and large and strong, engulfs Edward's, and when Seth flashes him a wide, friendly smile, Edward is instantly put at ease.  
  
"I'm two doors down, in 313. Let me know if you need a hand with anything," Edward says. Then, for reasons he doesn't understand, he adds, "Or stop by sometime. If you want."  
  
"Will do. Thanks man," Seth replies.  
  
Seth does drop by that night after dinner, and then a few times a week thereafter. They also discover they're the only two on their floor who get up at dawn for early classes, so having coffee together in Edward's room becomes something of a habit too. Usually a bit of a loner, Edward finds he doesn't mind Seth hanging around.  
  
A few weeks into the semester, Seth stops by Edward's room to see if he wants to walk over to the Student Center together.  
  
"What's going on over there tonight?" Edward asks.  
  
"The Rainbow Alliance meeting?" Seth answers.  
  
"Oh," Edward says. "Thanks, but I don't go to those."  
  
"You've been here for three years and have never been to a meeting?"  
  
Edward shakes his head. "In case you haven't noticed, I don't really do clubs, Seth."  
  
"Uh huh. That's bullshit, and you're coming. It's our duty as out gay men!" Seth says, smiling, and bumps shoulders with Edward.  
  
Edward laughs, but goes anyway. It becomes another one of their things, along with taking a detour for food and hours of conversation afterward, before heading back to their dorm. Seth is obviously smitten with Edward, but after a failed attempt at a kiss, Edward tells him it's against university rules and he doesn't push. While it's an easy excuse, it doesn't prevent Edward from privately wishing things could be different. Edward knows they're probably skirting the boundaries as it is, but he's not willing to give Seth up completely.  
  
It's not that Edward has been a hermit during his college years. He has friends (casual ones), dates (occasionally, but never more than three with the same person, and not once since meeting Seth). He knows he's attractive enough, and never has trouble finding someone at the clubs when he wants to get fucked. But it just doesn't feel like enough anymore. On top of finding him ridiculously attractive, the more time they spend together, the more Edward finds that he really  _likes_  Seth.  
  
Unfortunately, Edward's feelings for Seth come with complications of their own. Perverse thoughts still worm their way into his dreams, but now Seth features prominently in them too. The guilt Edward feels is almost crushing. It was bad enough with nameless, faceless men, but Seth is sweet and fun and  _good._ Even the thought of dragging Seth into his darkest fantasies makes Edward feel sick. It's almost enough to make him push Seth away, but he knows Seth has grown attached to him too, and Edward doesn't want to hurt him.  
  
He should have known he couldn't keep his secret forever, though, especially after letting someone in.  
  
Edward's first slip-up starts out innocently enough. He's standing at the sink in a towel, brushing his teeth. He feels good. He'd woken up in the midst of a particularly filthy dream about Seth but was able to will his erection down enough to make it to the bathroom and piss. He's still half hard, but he doesn't feel the overwhelming ache he did earlier. The door creaks open and Seth blearily stumbles in.  
  
Edward tips his head and gives Seth a foamy smile.  
  
"Morning, Edward," he grumbles.  
  
Looking perfectly sleep rumpled and gorgeous in nothing but a pair of light grey boxer briefs, Seth dumps his shower kit on the counter next to Edward before rounding the corner to the toilets. Edward rinses his mouth and shuts off the water just as the first drops of Seth's piss hit the porcelain. The dripping builds to a steady stream, echoing in the otherwise empty room, and becomes Edward's sole focus. He grips the ledge tightly and hunches his shoulders, fighting a losing battle against getting hard. A multitude of images, ripped straight from his dreams, flicker through his mind. When Seth groans in relief, Edward chokes and tries to cover it up with a cough.  
  
"God," Seth says. "I feel like I could piss forever!"  
  
Edward's dick is so far beyond hard that he feels like he can't move, but his body apparently has other ideas and involuntarily rubs against the sink ledge. When he hears the toilet flush and elastic snap against Seth's skin, Edward knows he's in trouble.  
  
Seth comes back into view and  _fucking hell_ . There is a small wet spot spreading on the front of his boxers and all Edward wants to do is drop to his knees and bury his face there. He's desperate to know what it smells like, how it would feel to mouth at the fabric. For just for a second, he allows himself to envision it – pulling Seth's underwear down, rubbing his face against his bare skin, feeling Seth's fingers tugging on his hair while he sucks the last few drops of urine from Seth's cock. His face flames when he thinks about how it would taste.  
  
"You okay, man?" Seth asks while turning on the water to brush his own teeth.  
  
Edward quickly grabs his stuff and holds it in front of his towel in a pointless attempt at hiding his erection. "I – I've gotta go. Now. Back to my room."  
  
Seth looks at him strangely, but shrugs and says, "See ya," through a mouthful of bubbly paste.  
  
Edward rushes down the hall and into his room. Trying to calm down, he reaches out and steadies himself on the bookshelf on top of his desk, taking huge gulping breaths. He curses himself for not jerking off earlier in the morning, because no matter how bad he would have felt,  _this_  is so much worse. There's no way he can go to class like this, but he's determined not to give in.  
  
He struggles to think of anything that will get his mind off of Seth, but it's pointless. His mind keeps replaying the scene in the bathroom and Edward has to squeeze the base of his cock to keep from stroking his dick. When the memory of Seth's relieved groan floods his ears and morphs into something decidedly sexual, Edward loses it completely. He rips off his towel, grabs his cock, and after only a few pulls, he chokes out Seth's name and comes in his palm. He's so caught up in the moment he almost misses the whisper he hears from behind him.  
  
" _Oh god_ ."  
  
Edward whips around. He's completely naked and is panting from the force of his release. His cock has just started to go soft and is probably still dripping and he has come cupped in his hand.  
  
And Seth is standing in his doorway, staring at him with wide eyes.  
  
"Uh. Your door was open a little? So I thought – umm…coffee?" Seth says.  
  
-o-  
  
Things are awkward for a while after that.  
  
They try to laugh it off, but even though Seth doesn't know what caused Edward's impromptu wank session, he still saw Edward come, and heard him saying his name. Seth takes it as a green light to try to get closer to Edward and starts stopping by more often and showing up outside of Edward's classes so they can walk back to the dorm together.  
  
Unfortunately, Edward's reaction is the exact opposite. Even though it only happened that one time, he starts getting up even earlier to avoid running into Seth in the bathroom. Their morning coffee routine comes to a halt as a result, and Edward does his evening studying at the library instead of in his room. He ignores Seth's texts, for the most part, and when he can't resist responding, he does so when Seth is scheduled to be in class. He knows he's being a coward and it's killing him to hurt Seth. He decides he needs to make a clean break, for both of their sakes, and Seth gives him the perfect opportunity a few weeks later.  
  
"Edward," Seth says one day. "I think we should go out on a date."  
  
"A date," Edward says slowly.  
  
"Well, we haven't really seen each other in a while, so I think we should plan something," Seth says.  
  
"I've been busy," Edward mumbles defensively. "I'm graduating in a few months, Seth, and things are hectic, okay?"  
  
"You know I like you, right?" Seth continues, undeterred. "I mean, if you don't by now, maybe there isn't any hope for you."  
  
Edward huffs out a frustrated laugh.  
  
"And from what I've…observed," Seth waves his hand between the two of them. "I've concluded that you like me too. So yes. I'd really like to take you out on a date."  
  
"I can't date you, Seth," Edward replies.  
  
"I know, I know. The R.A. thing. But c'mon. We spend time together almost every day, no one would know the difference if you let me take you out. What do you say? Will you?"  
  
Seth looks so hopeful, and Edward wants to give in so badly, but he knows he can't. Seth deserves to be with someone normal and sweet and wonderful like he is, not a pervert like Edward. He works to erase all emotion from his face and doesn't say anything until they reach the door to his room.  
  
"It's not just the R.A. thing, okay? I can't go out on a date with you because I don't want to," Edward lies. "So could you please stop following me around?"  
  
Stung, Seth takes a step back. "Fuck you, Masen."  
  
Edward unlocks his door and steps inside, then closes it without looking back.  
  
-o-  
  
They occasionally see each other in passing, but don't speak again for over a month. Miserable, Edward doesn't do much more than eat, sleep, attend class and study. He ignores his other friends until they stop calling altogether, and every day, he fights the urge to apologize to Seth. He's never cared about someone this much, or wanted them so badly, and thinks about Seth night and day.  
  
It's obsessive, but he doesn't know how to stop. He trolls the bootleg porn sites for videos of boys getting drenched in other men's urine. The tops call the bottoms things like 'pig' and 'piss boy', and Edward inserts Seth and himself into those roles. Knowing what Seth would think of him if he ever found out his secret strengthens his resolve to stay away. He doesn't usually get off on humiliation porn, but in this case, watching it while jerking himself raw reminds him what a sick freak he is.  
  
Things come to a head one night when he's looking for porn. He finds a new video compilation that claims to have the 'best of the best in watersports' and presses play to start streaming. One of the other Resident Assistants said she was going to drop something off for him earlier, so he doesn't think twice when he hears a knock. He pulls off his headphones, gets up and answers the door. What he doesn't expect is to see Seth standing on the other side. He looks so good, and Edward is so glad to see him, he can barely resist pulling him into a hug.  
  
"So here's the thing," Seth begins.  
  
"Seth. What are you doing here?" Edward asks.  
  
"Just shut up for a second, okay? You're an asshole, Masen," Seth continues. "But the thing is, you're not – not usually. Even though I wanted to punch you in the face the last time we talked, I've missed spending time with you."  
  
"Seth, I can't –" Edward interrupts.  
  
"Just listen, will you?" Seth cuts him off loudly.  
  
Edward sighs and nods, then opens the door wider and ushers Seth inside his room.  
  
"I think you were full of shit when you said you didn't want to go out with me. But," Seth adds when Edward looks poised to interrupt again. "It's fine – I asked, you said no, and as much as I wish you hadn't, you have your reasons and that's that. But that doesn't mean you can be a dick, Edward, and then act like we don't even know each other. We're friends – at least I thought we were – so can't we just go back to that?"  
  
Edward sits down on the edge of his bed and puts his head in his hands. He can't deny that he has missed Seth tremendously, and even if he can't have everything he wants with him, maybe they can go back to the way things were. It's not completely selfish, he thinks, if Seth wants it too. Besides, he'll be graduating soon, putting a little more distance between them and maybe Edward won't be so tempted.  
  
"Friends," Edward says, smiling softly. "Okay. Yeah, we can do that."  
  
When Seth doesn't respond, Edward lifts his head and sees Seth walking over to sit in his desk chair. The color drains from Edward's face when he remembers what he'd pulled up just before answering his door.  
  
"No!" Edward yells and lunges to close his laptop. He misses, and his hand gets tangled in the cord of his headphones, pulling them out of the laptop. Sounds of moans fill the room and Seth's eyes widen when he turns and sees what's playing on the screen.  
  
" _Fuck yeah. You like to drink my piss, don't you, pig? I'm gonna fuck you raw and then piss in your asshole."_  
  
Edward slams the lid closed and slumps against his desk, unable to look Seth in the eye. He hears Seth cough, and then walk toward the door.  
  
Seth clears his throat. "Do you want to get out of here and grab a beer or something?"  
  
Edward looks up, fully expecting to see disgust written all over Seth's face, but instead, he just looks like Seth – nervous and a little embarrassed, maybe, but still just Seth.  
  
"A beer sounds great," Edward answers, relieved, then grabs his keys and follows Seth out the door.  
  
-o-  
  
They walk to a bar and spend hours drinking pitchers of cheap beer and catching up. Neither brings up the video, and Edward is amazed at how easy it is to fall back into their old rhythm. Edward can't decide if Seth is being a little more flirtatious than usual, but he's so happy, he responds in kind and they find themselves sitting on the same side of their booth, whispering conspiratorially for no reason, by the end of the night. It's not until the bartender flashes the lights, indicating last call, that they stumble out the door.  
  
When Seth almost takes a wrong turn, Edward grabs his hand and yanks him back in the right direction. They are both a little wobbly on their feet, and Seth falls into Edward's side before straightening up. He doesn't let go of Edward's hand. When Edward looks at him questioningly, he just smiles and shrugs his shoulders. He looks so  _happy_  – just from being with Edward – and Edward can't resist pulling him into a hug. Seth responds immediately, wrapping his arms tightly around Edward and bending to whisper in his ear.  
  
"I missed you, you idiot."  
  
Edward buries his face in Seth's neck, takes in his warm, spicy scent, revels in the softness of his skin against his lips, and can only nod in agreement. It feels too good to be in Seth's arms after all this time and he feels his body responding to their closeness. When he starts to pull away, Seth just holds him closer, then drags his lips across Edward's cheek, seeking out his mouth. Without thinking, Edward tips his head back and slides his lips into place.  
  
What starts out hesitant and sweet quickly turns messy and frantic. Edward crashes his lips against Seth's and maps his mouth with his tongue. Seth walks them back toward an alley and pushes Edward up against the wall. He traces a wet path of bruising kisses down Edward's neck and slips his hands under Edward's shirt to touch every bit of skin he can reach. Edward reaches down and grabs Seth's ass, pulls him closer and grinds their hips together.  
  
"Jesus, Seth," Edward says. "So fucking hot."  
  
"Edward. Edward, wait," Seth pants. "I don't want to do this here."  
  
"Yeah, okay. Come on," Edward whispers, then leans in for another kiss before grabbing Seth's hand and pulling him back onto the street.  
  
"Hold on. I've got to piss like you wouldn't believe," Seth says.  
  
Edward grits his teeth. "Seth," he chokes out. "It's only a ten minute walk. Can't you wait?"  
  
"Sorry, no can do. Besides, in ten minutes, I hope to be too hard to go," Seth replies with a wink. "Just keep an eye out," he adds before ducking back into the alley.  
  
Edward is drunk and incredibly turned on. Without giving it a second thought, he follows Seth and makes it to his side just as he's lowering his zipper.  
  
"Edward, what –" Seth begins.  
  
"Shhh…it's okay, right? Please Seth?" Edward asks drunkenly. He reaches out with his other hand and wraps it loosely around Seth's cock. Seth is still half hard and the weight of his dick feels so good in Edward's hand. He rubs his thumb along the underside and directs it toward the wall.  
  
"Fuck, Edward, what are you doing? Shit, I can't hold it," Seth says. His urine hits the bricks and his body sags a little in relief.  
  
"Yeah, that's it," Edward whispers. His eyes are locked on Seth's dick and he stretches his hand so that the hot stream passes over his fingertips. "Oh god, I need to…" He lowers his own zipper and takes his cock in hand.  
  
Edward ducks his head under Seth's outstretched arm, fitting himself between Seth and the wall. Startled, Seth clamps his fingers down on his dick, stopping the flow but not before getting some on Edward's jeans.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing, Edward?" he asks wildly, biting back the pain of cutting himself off mid-stream.  
  
"Please Seth. Fuck, just do it this once. Please!" he begs, desperate.  
  
"Edward." Seth starts to say no, knows he should, but Edward looks so hot and is literally begging for it, and Seth is still a little drunk and really needs to finish pissing. "Are you sure?" he asks.  
  
"Yes, yes, yes," Edward chants, stroking his dick frantically.  
  
Unable to help himself, Seth lets go again, soaking Edward's jeans and hand and cock.  
  
"Fuck yeah. Oh god Seth," Edward gasps. The wetness spreads down and drenches his pants, making it heavy and warm against his skin. It's everything he's dreamed about and he loses it completely, dragging Seth into a bruising, messy kiss as he comes.  
  
Breath ragged, he falls back against the wall and begins to come back to himself. He looks up, dazed, and sees Seth tucking himself back into his jeans, wide eyed with shock.  
  
"Shit. I don't know what…" Edward trails off, face flaming. There's nothing he can possibly say to explain what just happened. He's covered in piss and come and practically forced himself on Seth in a dark alley. He chokes out a broken, "I'm so sorry," and takes off down the street.  
  
Edward runs all the way back to the dorm. A million thoughts swirl through his mind, but he tries to focus on the sound of his feet pounding against the pavement to keep from breaking down completely. He angrily wipes hot tears from his cheeks, chastising himself for fucking things up again.  
  
-o-  
  
Edward has already showered and changed into sweats by the time Seth shows up at his door. He has his laundry basket and detergent in hand and doesn't meet Seth's eyes when he tries to push past him in the hall.  
  
"Edward," Seth pleads, "don't shut me out again. Can't we talk about this?"  
  
"I work hard at not even  _thinking_  about it, so no, Seth, I don't want to talk about it," Edward snaps.  
  
"Do you ever wonder if it would be easier if you actually let yourself think about it sometimes?" Seth asks.  
  
Edward laughs bitterly, but turns and walks back into his room, leaving Seth to trail behind on his own. "That's the problem, isn't it? It's not normal to think about it at all!"  
  
"Says who? Seth asks. "Edward, you're not the only person who gets off on it. Do you think the porn companies would make videos like the one you were watching earlier if there wasn't a market for them?"  
  
"What is 'normal' anyway?" Seth asks. "I've been different my whole life. My sister and I were the token 'red' kids at my high school; the other guys back home are all older and huge, and I'll always be the skinny little kid in their eyes. Not to mention, I'm into guys, which, as you know, didn't go over very well when I came out."  
  
"That's different. Those things are who you are," Edward replies.  
  
"I think it's pretty obvious that this is part of who  _you_ are, even if you don't want it to be," Seth says quietly. He picks up the soggy jeans from the basket and holds them out to Edward.  
  
Edward's resolve crumbles and he sags against his desk. He's been fighting against this for as long as he can remember, but now he realizes he can't win. He grips the sodden fabric, heart aching at the thought of losing Seth over this, especially after just getting him back.  
  
"I guess I'll see you around, then," he says, eyes trained on the floor.  
  
"What?" Seth asks loudly. "Are you seriously kicking me out again?"  
  
"No! But I thought –"  
  
"Look Edward, I'm not saying I get it," Seth says. "To be honest, I'm not really sure what 'it' is, yet. But that doesn't mean I'm walking away, okay?"  
  
Edward looks up in disbelief. "It doesn't?"  
  
Seth shakes his head and steps closer. "Is this why you didn't want to date me?"  
  
Edward nods.  
  
"It was pretty hot when you held my dick before. Maybe it was because I'd waited so long to get your hands on me, but it felt kind of good. And when you put your fingers in front of me when I –"  
  
Edward coughs and blushes. "I can't talk about this with you, Seth."  
  
"I kind of liked it, too, Edward, even though I don't understand why," Seth says quietly, moving to sit on the edge of Edward's bed. "Tell me what you liked about it?"  
  
Edward can feel the flush travel down his neck and to the tips of his ears. He's too embarrassed to say and just shakes his head.  
  
"C'mon," Seth encourages. He grabs Edward's hand and pulls him down onto the bed. "I'm not trying to embarrass you, Edward, but I need a little help here."  
  
Edward looks up, expecting Seth to look horrified, but his expression is open and encouraging. It gives him the tiniest bit of hope – and if he's being honest, there's no way to go back from this anyway. He's scared to death, but after everything, Seth deserves to know.  
  
"I like everything about it. The warmth, the wetness, how it feels on my skin," Edward admits. He lifts the fabric he's still clutching in his fist. "Ah…even the smell, sometimes."  
  
Seth wrinkles his nose. "Really?"  
  
"Sometimes it's a little sharp, but –" Edward shrugs helplessly. "I don't know. I just like it, and it's not just the smell. I don't know how to explain it, but it's kind of like how some guys  _really_  like it when a guy comes all over them? Except with this, there's a whole lot more than just a few spurts."  
  
"Okay…that makes sense. Sort of," Seth says with a sheepish smile.  
  
"Look, I know this is a lot – and you're being  _unbelievably_  understanding – but can we not talk about this anymore tonight?" Edward asks.  
  
Seth nods slowly, then pulls Edward in close. He takes Edward's face in his hands and presses a soft kiss to his lips. It's gentle and sweet - nothing like their drunken make-out in the alley – and absolutely perfect. "Just…don't keep it all inside, okay? I'm not going anywhere and we'll make it work somehow."  
  
Edward doesn't know if that's possible, but for the first time in his life, he's starting to believe it is.  
  
-o-  
  
 _Three months later…_  
  
Edward's sure he must be dreaming. Warm hands run over his skin and feather-light kisses trail across his shoulder blades. He feels hot breath ruffling the hair at the back of his neck and an unmistakable hardness rubs against his hip. A soft whisper tickles his ear.  
  
"Edward, are you awake?"  
  
Edward shakes his head minutely and buries his face in his pillow. He hears a breathy chuckle followed by a soft click. He jumps when he feels the cool liquid drizzle on his ass, but spreads his thighs when slick fingers begin to probe between his cheeks.  
  
"Seth," he mumbles.  
  
"Were you expecting someone else?" Seth whispers with a laugh. Edward is still a little loose from the night before and Seth slides two fingers in easily.  
  
"Seth, hang on," Edward breathes. "I'll be right back."  
  
"Can't wait. Need to fuck you again." Seth pulls on Edward's hip to turn him over, then slips a pillow under Edward's hips and fits himself between his parted thighs.  
  
"Seth, wait. I have to –" Edward gasps when Seth pushes into him in one long stroke. He's still sore and his morning wood wilts when Seth enters him, but he wraps his legs around Seth's waist. Seth takes hold of his hips and pulls him in close, then spreads his hands across Edward's abdomen and presses down lightly. He begins to thrust, hard and deep, to the same rhythm as his hands pressing and releasing on Edward's stomach.  
  
"Wait, Seth," Edward whimpers. His bladder is so full and the added pressure of Seth's hands hurts. It's the best kind of pleasure-pain and tears fall from the corners of his eyes as he writhes against the sheets. "Stop..No, don't stop. God, Seth!"  
  
Seth pauses. "Do you want me to stop, Edward? Or do you want to let go?"  
  
Edward shakes his head frantically. "I can't. Not here."  
  
Seth pulls almost all the way out and then slams back into Edward over and over, digging his palms into Edward's stomach.  
  
"Yes you can, Edward. Let go. I know you want to.  _I_  want you to," Seth pants.  
  
"Fuck. I can't, Seth. The bed…" he trails off, crying out when Seth goes particularly deep.  
  
"Fuck the bed. You're graduating today. Who gives a shit about the bed," Seth answers.  
  
Seth leans forward and kisses him deeply, bending Edward in half and putting even more pressure on his bladder. "Come on Edward. Do it."  
  
Seth leans back and begins pounding into Edward in earnest and Edward can't hold back any longer. He lets go, feels almost boneless as he covers his body in hot liquid. He's barely aware of Seth pulling out and jerking off over him until hot spurts of come hit his chest and mix with his piss. He rubs his hands along his stomach, blending their releases together.  
  
Seth leans forward again and kisses him, long and deep, tongues tangling lazily as he comes down. Leaning back, he wets his hand on Edward stomach and starts stroking his cock.  
  
"Hey," he says softly. "You okay?"  
  
"Yeah," Edward murmurs. "Feels good. Don't stop."  
  
"Won't stop but I have to - Edward, can I? Do you want me to?" Seth asks.  
  
"Oh god. Please," Edward replies breathily.  
  
Seth bends down for another kiss, then gets up on his knees. His dick is soft enough now and he runs a fingertip just under the head.  
  
"Stroke your cock for me Edward," Seth says. "Want to see you come so hard."  
  
The first drops hitting Edward's skin set him on fire. His hand picks up tempo and Seth directs the stream to his cock.  
  
"Oh god. Seth!"  
  
"Fuck, Edward. You're so fucking hot," Seth breathes. He aims higher, urine splashing over Edward's collarbones, then presses a finger to the underside of his cock to stop the flow. It's agony, but he needs to be sure.  
  
"Do it. I want you to," Edward says before Seth can even ask.  
  
"Are you sure?" They've experimented, but haven't taken it this far.  
  
"Please, Seth.  _Please_ ." Edward begs. He squirms on the soggy bed, his strokes becoming erratic. "Want to feel it on my face. Oh god, please!"  
  
Seth can't hold back any longer and lifts his finger. His piss hits Edward's cheeks, his closed eyes, his lips, runs down his face into his hair. It's better than Edward ever dreamed it would be. He squints through wet lashes and opens his mouth enough to lick his lips, groaning when the salty fluid hits his tongue, and then comes with a shout all over his wet chest. He's a wreck and looks so fucking sated and happy Seth can barely stand it.  
  
Seth lifts up and laughs when he sees the state of Edward's bed.  
  
"Um…maybe I underestimated the damage," he says sheepishly.  
  
Edward rolls off the bed, his skin squelching wetly against the ruined blanket and sheets. He knows he should feel disgusting and guilty, but he's still riding his high.  
  
"Come on, graduate," Seth says, grabbing his hand. "As much as I think 'debauched and depraved' looks good on you, you're a mess. We need to shower before you don your cap and gown."  
  
"You know," Edward says as he grabs a towel and his shower stuff, "This was actually my bed, not the university's."  
  
Seth shrugs. He leans down to give Edward a quick kiss and, smiling against his lips, says, "Well, then it's one less thing we need to move into our apartment."  
  
\- end -


End file.
